What do you call an
Alligator in a vest
Investigator

I would never join
A club that would have someone
Like me in their club

Life is very much
Like a good bottle of Beer
Chill for best results

A Fortune cookie
Had no fortune inside it
How unfortunate

A guy named David
Just had his ID stolen
Now he's just called Dav

As the good book says
Do unto others before
They do unto you

A bird in the hand
Is not worth two in the bush
Due to inflation

Birds of a feather
Are known to flock together
I always fly coach

It's two fifty years!
Semiquincentennial
A hard word to say

Nowhere you can be
That's not where you're meant to be
It's easy, John said